Birthday Blog

38. Can't believe I'm 38. I had certain ideas about how life would be at this age, and life really doesn't turn out the way you expected, does it? I have other things to be grateful for, but those really strong core life wishes like having a family, being in a relationship, having a lucrative and successful career have slipped away from me. Having my own kids and being in a relationship are wishes I've given up, but my friends are my family and my career is about to get a big boost, especially if this book gets finished and published.

I've been in the midst of a rearrangement of my work situation which has been incredibly stressful. Today I got some very good news that should help this along brilliantly. Without going into details, I have to add that my mom is the greatest person on the planet and I love her with all my heart! Also, Colby has been a godsend to me in figuring all of this out. I wish he would go to law school! Aileen and Alison have been very helpful as well. I'm so grateful to have such fantastic, brilliant and generous people on my side!

The book is moving forward. It has become a great escape during this stressful time. I started over on Monday yet again, but I'm happy with what I've done. It has cut a lot of words off the book while maintaining the story just as effectively and it's going to work brilliantly. And the length of the book is an important consideration in getting it published, especially as a first-time writer.

I have a great desire to go to London next spring and see a revival of Private Lives with Matthew Macfadyen and Kim Cattrall in the lead roles. Financially, it isn't logical to even try to make it happen, but I could really use a vacation to somewhere other than Minneapolis and one of my deepest desires has always been a trip to London.

Now what do I do?

So I got the first draft of book 1 done. In the last 20 pages, things really took shape and a lot of doubt I had was removed. I'm 79 pages into the first edit. Yesterday, I was with Colby, and I described what the story is and he proceeded to go on for 15 minutes about what he didn't like. Bear in mind 2 things - I asked him for and very much value his opinion - he hasn't actually read any of it, I've just told him the story in detail. He had several things to say and I realized he had some very good points, and now I don't know what to do. I thought I had it figured it out, but he pointed out a lot of weaknesses in my ideas. Shit.

My most gifted student had to drop lessons this week. I was very bummed about it. She's been with me for 2 years and I really like her and her family. She's a brilliantly talented singer and she works hard. And I know from experience that they almost never come back. But I know I have taught her a lot and she will take that with her wherever she goes next. I will watch her rise. Someday, she will be on Broadway.

Watched the very disturbing and frustrating Criminal Justice II (BBC crime drama) all week. Was lovely to see some new Matthew Macfadyen material (even though he was doing some disturbing stuff); the acting was spectacular and I am fast becoming a fan of Sophie Okonedo. But the show itself was badly written.

Also, got to see Ricky Gervais on the season premiere of The Graham Norton Show. Ricky is hysterical, and there is no better laugh on the planet! When I was in Nebraska, I listened to the first season of the Ricky Gervais Show (the podcast) and it was quite funny. And I truly loved Extras.

Got my taxes done. Took me and Colby 7 hours yesterday, but I am getting a small refund (almost enough to cover the cost of TurboTax, woohoo). What a relief to have that out of the way.

Minneapolis got 2 inches of snow on Thurdsay. ROFL! They're all complaining - why do they live there if they hate snow? I don't get it.

My sis-in-law recently told my Mom, "I don't know how you were ever with that man," meaning my Dad. My friends who have met both my parents can't understand how they were ever a couple either! ROFL!

Almost there

I am happy to report that book 1 is almost a complete story at 127,000 words. That'll get edited down to about 115,000, I believe because I've decided to scrap a whole section. Then I can finally start submitting to agents and publishers, whoever they are and begin receiving the hundreds of rejection letters I will receive before being offered that magical YES with lots of $$ attached!

I am very grateful that I was part of the acting profession. I am OK with rejection. I understand because I have experienced that there is a time and a place and a "right vibe" for every professional relationship and that the right publisher/author relationship will come along for me too. "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" was rejected many times and look at it now.

My income is down $500 since July (and the summer months are already down). I lost 3 students for various reasons, and sent 4 guitar players to a brilliant new teacher where they will thrive and learn much more than I can teach them. I wasn't counting on losing 3 kids. Now I'm sweating. So if you know anybody who needs a teacher (Pasadena area), please send them my way. Not adult beginners though. I'd rather die.

Was going to go to a taping for the new Jeff Dunham Show tonight with Colby but I have a migraine. I tried to sleep it off, but it didn't work and now I'm not tired enough to sleep more. This beautiful sunlight is not helping. It's a gorgeous day! If my head wasn't splitting in 2, I'd be out in it. 80, sunny, clear, breezy. Perfect!

Taxes are calling. Anybody know somebody REALLY cheap?