Finished...again...and still writing

A few months ago, I decided to re-write my book in 1st person from Jack's perspective. I've finished it. My mom read it, so far, and she passed it on to a couple of British friends of hers, whose native perspective I really need.  But since they received it, I haven't heard a word from them. Of all the people I've sent my book to for feedback, only my mom and my best friend Aileen have actually read it.

So now I'm working on the 2nd book. That's being re-written in first person from Lizzie's perspective. I'm only about 55 pages in so far, but I've always felt more confident about this book, so I think it'll be good.

Here's a little snippet from the 2nd book:

When my dad, David Hennessey, arrived at Jack’s apartment, I greeted him at the door and thought he looked a bit tired. His hair was gray at the temples, which I never saw on him before. I suppose he always dyed his dark, curly hair (just like mine) and had recently been neglectful, but I’m surprised my mom let him go gray. He was wearing a dark-green tweed jacket, white button-down shirt and jeans. He was also wearing his glasses, which he usually didn’t do. I had been on the verge of dread about the evening, but now that he arrived, I felt happy to see him. He seemed less edgy than usual. Perhaps it was because he wasn’t with mom tonight. He was always more guarded around her.

      “How’s my baby girl? It’s been too long since I’ve seen you,” he told me warmly. “I was so disappointed when you didn’t come for Christmas.”

      “Sorry.” But I didn’t regret that at all; I was with Jack in England.

      I led him into the kitchen, where Jack had his head in the oven. He took off his oven mitts and shook Dad’s hand with a big smile on his face. “Jack Franklin. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

      “Very nice place, Jack,” Dad commented in the midst of surveying the place. He was duly impressed.

      “Thank you,” Jack replied. I knew he was quite proud of his place, and with good reason. It was a two-bedroom, two-story townhouse with an office/den, full kitchen, two bathrooms, dining room, two balconies, a fireplace, underground parking and fantastic acoustics for playing violin or cello.

      “You’re English?”

      “Yeah,” Jack responded.

      “Liz didn’t tell me that.” Dad smiled, looking at me. “How long have you been here?”

      “It’ll be four years in July. I came for school. Can I offer you a drink? I have Merlot, Chardonnay, Sam Adams, Corona, soda, water…and I make a great Mojito.”

      “I’ll have a Mojito, thanks.”

      I leaned against the counter with my arms folded. I watched them as they studied each other, determined to decipher as many of their thoughts as possible. I didn’t anticipate Jack and Dad having any problems getting along; they were both perfectly amiable men. I retrieved a beer from the fridge, perhaps to numb myself to the topic of conversation that would inevitably arise; my mother. Jack was far too curious about her after I’d avoided the topic so many times not to ask Dad about her. And I knew Dad wouldn’t be remiss in talking about her to Jack.

Been a long time!

I'm still alive, yes. Apparently, I've had nothing to say since February.

Spring instrumental recital was April 10th and it was the best recital we've ever had. There are 26 video clips from the day on my youtube channel or you can link there from my website. Vocal recital is this Saturday night.

Need more students. I lost several in January and February, kicked one out for skipping the recital and hopefully will have some referrals come when school lets out. I'm raising my rates July 1, which I didn't think I'd do, but I've been researching what other teachers who go to students' houses earn, and I'm pretty far below the belt, plus many of them have far less experience than I do. The elementary school behind my house has early dismissal on Mondays and I'm going to put up flyers there to get some kids to come over for lessons.

My geeky Brit-obsession did, of course, prompt me to get up at 2am and watch the royal wedding. I find it quite serendipitous that I was at Westminster Abbey on April 29, 2010. Yes, exactly 1 year to the day before the wedding. Hmmmm...wonder what the universe is trying to tell me there. Anyhow, I have quite the crush on Wills now. I think he is very much his mother's son - he has a huge heart and is quite intelligent. Kate's pretty cool too - damn, that dress! It was perfect! They're both so down-to-earth and just seem like very genuinely nice people who are truly in love.

My little Pasadena pad is cool as ever. And I mean that in more than one way - it's been in the 90s the last couple of days and my house stays pretty cool without a/c.

I quit drinking Coca-cola and eating anything sweet or snacky. It's day 3. I had a momentary lapse of sense and joined Weight Watchers on Sunday, but have decided that you must be obsessive-compulsive to follow that complicated point system they have and after reading through all of their materials, I am going back for a refund today. In the past, the only periods of weight-loss success I have had were not obtained through a diet plan. It's always been from winging it. So my plan is to eat as many fruits and veggies as possible, no desserts - ever, and stop drinking coke and to exercise 30-60 minutes every day. And no food in the car, except water.

So, the book! The main reason I haven't blogged is because I've had writer's block since Feb. I started rewriting book 1 on one path, but I didn't like where it was going, so I stopped. I read a bunch of books (fiction, and 1 book about writing). Now, I've figured out a new path, so in the last 4 days, I've written about 18,000 words and I like how it's going. I'm writing it in first person from Jack's point of view and I'm really discovering Jack and learning things about him I didn't know before.  I think the second book will be written from Lizzie's point of view.

My mom was going to bring my nephew out for a visit in June for his 13th birthday, and initially, my brother gave his permission, but now he has retracted it and I'm VERY PISSED OFF about it.

BTW, apparently Osama was born in Hawaii. Who knew? ;-)

Moving forward

First of all, congratulations to my bff, Colby, who has a great new job and new place to live! I'm very proud of you, Colby!








Projects:
Rewrite my whole first book from the other main character's perspective.
After lots of hemming and hawing and soul searching, I have discovered that the power in the first book is from Jack's point of view. He has much more drama about their relationship than Lizzie does. Her power is in the second book, which is still about 1/2 finished.
I went to a very informative workshop on Jan 29th at PCC, given by Bobbie Christensen. She's self-published 11 (I think) books.
Here are some things I learned:
- 80% of all books published today are self-published
- You only earn 3-4% profit when you are published traditionally, as opposed to 45% self-published
- It only costs about $3,000 to self-publish and you can earn most of those costs before your book comes out
- It's very easy to organize a book-signing and sell 20-30 books at every signing
- Only 7% of all book sales are e-books

In the 20 or so years, she has NEVER met somebody who has been published through a literary agent for fiction or non-fiction (screenplays, yes, but not books). Cool thing - if you attend her class (see her website above) you get free consulting with her.

Next project:
Advertising through homeschool networks to pick up daytime students. I have found 3 and am working on ads for those, but if you know of any organizations or individuals, please send them my way!

Next project:

Spring recital, Sunday April 10th 4&6 at Altadena Community Church. Getting the kids ready. The singers will be on their own separate recital (date tba) due to scheduling conflicts.

Next project:
Gotta get back to London!

A new year to ponder (and time to reflect)

My new year sees me with a successful business, a nice little place to live, family and friends are healthy, (I'm okay too).  2010 was a good year for me and I hope 2011 is equal or better. 

My mom is into this bucket list idea, so I made one last year when I was on the way home from London. I was excited by the idea because to that date in 2010, I had already crossed 5 items off my bucket list (the trip to London encompassing 3 of them). For the year, I managed 6 of them. 
          1- Be fully self-employed
          2 - Go to London
          3 - Obtain a passport and use it
          4 - Meet Matthew Macfadyen
          5 - Play in a studio orchestra
          6 - Move to Pasadena

I had a great Christmas. Mom came to catch her ship for about 3 days and left on Dec 23. She was excited to see how my house has evolved. I spent Christmas Day with close friends, helped them cook a ton of food for 15 people and had a really lovely time.  From my mom, I got a Sony eReader, from my brother and his family a little video camera. My dad sent a check. He's not a gifty-shopping kind of guy, which is fine. I used that $100 to get a blu-ray player.

On New Year's I didn't do anything. It was quite boring. Didn't even go to the Rose Parade, 6 blocks away. I did watch all the traffic on my street for about 2 hours after the parade ended. Whoop-de-do.

So my goal for 2011 is to get my books published (this is also a bucket list item). I'm going to a couple of workshops on January 29 at PCC on publishing and marketing. I am working to complete the 2nd book, which is about halfway through the edit now, but I'm a little stuck at the moment.

Teaching is good. I sent out a New Year's e-mail on January 1st that contained some strong words about practicing. I am determined to be a teacher who does not allow students to not practice and I've set out to become much more adamant about this. I have about 6 kids who I am considering dropping at the end of January if they don't turn things around, and lo and behold 4 of them quit already. I will miss them, of course, but it really is the best thing for them. It is a waste of time and money to take lessons without no expectation of progress. I am so thankful that most of my students (and especially their parents) understand this and do their best to complete their assignments. If a student makes a good effort and doesn't quite finish, I am always willing to work with that, but if somebody doesn't practice at all, it's just not worth it. I understand people have busy schedules, but in 7 days if you honestly cannot find any time to practice, don't bother taking lessons.

I am going to give the South Pasadena YMCA another try. It's dark and dingy, but it's close and the class itself was ok. Either way, I've got to get some exercise going. I've been going over to NoHo a couple times a month to see my friends there and do the water pilates class, but it isn't enough, of course. Back on the wagon for me!

Back to book

To my utter astonishment, I am actually halfway through the rewrite of the 2nd book. I maintain this book is stronger than the first. It feels fantastic to be writing again! My plan, when finished with this rewrite, is to find a writing class, possibly at PCC, and attend book publishing fairs in the hopes of generating interest and meeting the agent or publisher that can make things happen for me.  I also really want to learn screenwriting because when this is finished, I have a great screenplay in the works.

Last week and this, my fantastically great friend Jeni Bellcour, who lives in Denver, and with whom I grew up in Minnesnowta, is in California for work. We've been able to see each other twice at length and she will come to stay with me on Friday before she leaves early Saturday morning. It's been so fantastic to spend time with her! We saw the movie Tangled, which was really good! I love how kids movies always have a lot for the adults to enjoy these days. For us, we get double the pleasure by getting in touch with our inner kid and enjoying a few sophisticated jokes just for us on the way. In this pose, she is mirroring a statue which is behind her, but I had to cut the statue out to make the picture smaller.



The day after Jeni leaves, my mom will visit again for a few days before she catches her ship for Around the World again this year. We'll have a bit of Christmas and do some shopping.

My house has really taken shape. Most everything is done, but I decided to do a bit more painting. One wall in the living room (purple, of course) and some trim in the bathroom (red and gold). Going to try to get that done before Mom comes to visit. Also, my bed frame still isn't built. Probably will do that between Christmas and New Year, when there are less students.

Started a great family with 3 kids last night. 2 piano, 1 violin, but I think the older girl wants to play violin instead. I hope she does. Seems like she'd be happier with that. Have 2 more beginning cellos coming on board in January, and a returning student from a few years ago, a boy I absolutely adore and have missed a lot and I usually don't take kids back and he plays guitar, but I adore this kid so much that I'm going to take him anyhow! I just hope I can fit him in the schedule. He'll make #43.

And now I present...a little teaser from Book 2:

“I think it’s time I met your family,” Jack Franklin said to the love of his life, Elizabeth Hennessey.


She scoffed. “Why?”

“You’ve met my family!” he reminded her. For two blissful weeks over the holidays, they went to Jack’s family estate near Reading in Berkshire in England. His parents died several years ago, but she met his sister, her husband and her two daughters and several other members of his extended family. “When is the last time you talked to them?”

“I talked to Dad last month for about a minute.”

“And the others?”

She shook her head.

Jack couldn’t imagine having so little contact with his family. “You haven’t seen him in how long?”

“Last summer. And you haven’t seen your family in three months either.”

“Lizzie!” He clicked his tongue. “I can’t imagine that, you know. Not seeing your family on purpose.”

“Well…you like your family.”

“You really don’t like any of them? Why not?”

Elizabeth sighed and played with her sandwich. “I’ve already told you a lot about them. My mom isn’t nice, and my dad is a pushover; my little sister is a troublemaker, Charlie is completely withdrawn and aloof, and Will’s in Denver at school and he’s a stuck-up snob. I don’t really get along with any of them except Dad.”

“They all seem to have glaring faults, don’t they?”

She grimaced at his implication. “I don’t have anything in common with any of them.”

“None of them are musicians like us?”

“I think Charlie plays a little guitar. But no.”

“So, they’re not like you; they don’t like music. Don’t they have any redeeming qualities?”

She stared at him and stated, “You think I’m judging them.”

“Even murderers have something you can like about them.”

“Oh, don’t even say that,” she scoffed.

“It’s true.”

“Yes, but at the very least that makes my mother less likeable than a murderer!”

“There’s got to be something about her you like.”

“No. I really can’t stand her.”

“Do you love her?”

“Of course, she’s my mother but that doesn’t mean I have to like her."

Sooo Busy!!!

I MOVED!  I now live in Pasadena in a little house (duplex) on Maple Street. There are so many things I like about being here that I didn't have in my old place! I'm closer to students, not on 2nd floor anymore, washer & dryer in unit, new fridge, fireplace, garage (shared), recycling...the list goes on!  Not really any disadvantages. I didn't get wood floors, 2 bedrooms or a/c, but it worked out great anyway!

Mom was here and an immense help to me! She contributed a great deal financially, emotionally, physically, and I can't thank her enough! I'm very lucky to have her!

I got a new bedroom set, had to get some new storage cabinets for the l.r. because my entertainment center wouldn't come out of my old place and we had to break it apart and throw it away. My bedroom, once it's finished, is going to be gorgeous!

Our fall recitals are tomorrow.  Most of the kids are playing well, but there are a handful who aren't taking it seriously enough and it vexes me a bit that their parents won't get on board. Next recital if the kids' songs aren't memorized a week before the show, I'm going to axe the songs. It's not just that it has to be memorized by the recital, it has to marinate in memorization for a bit, or the memory will fail. They don't get it. I really want these kids to have a good experience and I try to do everything to provide that, then they don't do the work and bomb and blame me. I can't practice for them.  Maybe having a not-so-good experience is the only way they will learn that lesson. I just hate to see it happen.

Writing has not happened in a month or two, but it will. Once I get settled, I'll get back on the wagon. I really have high hopes for the second book and am thinking about re-hashing the first book. I am trying to read more and more books in my category and I'm finding they're not as well-written as mine and the characters aren't as interesting.  I hope I can find a publisher who agrees with me!

Lots to say

I haven't blogged since July!

My book is sort of on hold - haven't been writing much or submitting to agents because I am finally making the move to the Pasadena area to live closer to my work. I've begun packing a bit and am planning to move November 1st. I can't really look for a place til October, but I'm getting all my other ducks in a row in the meantime. My mom is coming to town when she gets off her ship contract in late October and will help with the final packing and I'm hiring a moving company to get me there.  I'm hoping for a 2 bedroom, ground floor in Pasadena, but possibly in Eagle Rock or Altadena because I'm finding Pasadena is just a little too pricey for me, unless I live in the hood and I'm really trying to escape the hood, having now lived in it for 12 years. Yes, October 17th marks 12 years in North Holly-hood.

I like change and I'm really looking forward to this move. My dream move would be to London, but I'd have to win the lottery to pull that off! And frankly, I don't play the lottery very often (although it only takes once, doesn't it?)

My students are doing so well! I've had a goal since teaching full-time in 2008 that I wanted 40 students and I now have 40. We're in the beginning stages of planning the fall recital. Have had some kids recently switch from piano to a stringed instrument, which I love! And I'm phasing out teaching guitar, which I don't particularly love. I have some kids who have been with me 2-4 years now who are really getting quite good and some who were slacking and have turned things around due to some very supportive families. It couldn't be better! I'm very lucky!

My most recent thoughts in regards the book are that it covers too much for 223 pages. I really wish it could be longer and go into more detail about the characters' thoughts. Maybe I need to cut dialogue and have more exposition. The comment has been made that it reads like a screenplay and that's been something I like about it, but at the same time, the books I read have way more exposition (and are much longer) and then I think, "Maybe it should be more like this."  I think the 2nd book doesn't have that problem, although the revision is only about 1/2 done.

I've also been writing some scenes that aren't in the book (things like Jack's perspective, which isn't included in the first half, and some of his background story).  That's fun, but doesn't contribute that much to the process because it won't see the light of publication.

So after I move, I will resume the process full-swing.  I need to find a way to make some legit connections to publishers/agents. I don't think these blind submissions will get me anywhere. That sort of success is attained through who you know. I wish I was better at "knowing" people! I'm well aware of the fact that I should get out more, but it terrifies me.

A great week!

I know, this blog is supposed to be about my book, but I've been writing a little of the main characters' backstories, which is kind of fun, but not very productive. Haven't submitted to any agents. Gotta get back on that.

On Tuesday, I got some great news.  I went to court for my business a few weeks ago and the outcome was entirely favorable, as predicted. This has been a long battle, and I was fairly confident all along, but you never know what a judge will say.  Anyway, all is well and I am happy to move forward with a clear head about it.

I am beginning the process of moving to Pasadena, which I've wanted to do for a long time. Have to save quite a bit more money, but now I can see the light at the end of that tunnel. I've wanted out of North Hollywood for several years - it's scary here sometimes and I have a couple of very strange neighbors and there is violence from time to time. Pasadena is nicer, cleaner, safer, beautiful and where I work!  I've been perusing rental postings and it looks like I might actually be able to afford a 2-bedroom if I look hard enough.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to Robert Cauer Violins with Kayla, James and David Valencia and their awesome mom, Julie, to get Kayla and David new cellos. After we did that, we had a pizza/pool party. Kayla was too tired to swim, but David and James and I had a blast in the pool!  Have also been there to get a violin for Derek Mayo, a cello for Jason Mayo, a cello for Frida Lizarraga, and more to come.  I love that many of my piano students are changing to strings! I hope they stick with it!  It's nice to have students who have proven their practice record now playing what I love most to teach them!

Finally got the DVDs from the April 18 recital.  They turned out beautifully, thanks to Aileen and Greg, and were worth the wait!  I have to figure out how to put some vidcaps on my website from the DVD. Never done that before.



Yesterday, had a lovely lunch with Aileen, Colby (who is in town every Monday and Friday) and Aileen's mom, Louise, who will be returning to Maine on Tuesday. We went to Choza Mama in Burbank - amazing Peruvian restaurant across from NBC.

Remember to watch The Pillars of the Earth on Starz starting July 23! It's going to be brilliant!

July

I have no life. This fourth of July I am alone all weekend. Saw a kid's play yesterday. Today I fixed my toilet. How exciting (read: sarcasm). Colby is on the ship, Aileen is probably with family. My family is 2000 miles away. I'm bored stiff. And how much am I getting done (aside from the aforementioned toilet repair)?  Absofrickinlutely nothing. I could be writing up a storm. I could be submitting to agents up a storm. I'm not. I am wallowing in loser-ville and napping more than is healthy.  I have 336 facebook friends and nobody to hang out with. Hmmm....

Do you feel like you're waiting for your life to begin?  Most people my age have a life - they have a family, at least, and it keeps them from wondering about that because they have shit to do and they accept that as their "life in progress". When you don't have that, you often wonder if this is it?  I'm sort of at that point. I'm itching for some sort of major life change. Moving to London keeps coming to mind, but I can't afford it and leaving my business that I've finally got going would be really stupid.  Maybe it's that I'm supposed to be a writer.  I'll never find out if I don't get off my ass and find an agent.  I'm discouraged because only one agent I've submitted to responded (aside from the scam one) at all.  I can take rejection - I was an actor for years, and I get that part of the business and it doesn't bother me, but I'm getting NO response. Maybe my e-mail address isn't working or something. I need to explore that.

I'm finally able to start saving up to move to Pasadena. A lottery win would be quite beneficial at this point in time. Whenever I start saving for things, I feel guilty that I'm not paying off bills.  But if I don't move to Pasadena and I don't take trips and I don't do things for myself, then I really have no live, and I already don't have a very exciting life as it is. So, the bills trickle down slowly.

I miss acting lately. Wonder if I'll ever be able to do that again on a regular basis? Right now, it's about one tiny project a year. This year was a good one (played an opera singer for a short fiction series reading), although nobody came to see me. Last year, it sucked (bad play in a church basement in Hollywood), but I did get to work with my boy Colby, and that made it worth it.  Sometimes I think about finishing my voiceover demo and trying to get into that. I certainly have the voice for voiceovers (and a face for them too). Then again, there's that money thing.

Am not going to make it to Minnesota this summer. My mom will only be there until July 15th, and the flights are now all $500. I don't want to go if she's not there. I miss the cabin though and I'd really like to see my nephews (Zack 12, Rhett 4) and my Grandpa (LeRoy 84), while he's still around.  Mom will be coming here twice more before the end of the year, so at least I'll get to see her.

What a bummer I am today. Sorry. Random thoughts...I shouldn't say I haven't been writing. Lately I have been writing some of the back stories behind Jack and Lizzie's tale. You know, things that aren't in the book - their childhoods and some of the events that I had to cut out of the book because it has to be a certain length. It all contributes to the whole. Sorting out how certain things went down in their childhoods is particularly crucial in the second book.

Had a great time Thursday night with my oldest family of students in LA.  Kayla, who is 13, plays cello and has been my student for 6 years (1 year piano, 5 years cello). James, who is nearly 11, plays guitar and started with me for the first 3 years (I passed him on to my friend Aleks Peck last summer). David, who is 8-1/2 started cello when he was 4.  Kayla and David got new cellos at Robert Cauers and after, they all came over with mom, Julie (I love Julie to death) and we had their lessons, ordered pizza and I went swimming with James and David for an hour or so.  I love this family!  They sort of remind me of the dynamic between Mom and me and Alden when we were kids.  A bit chaotic, crazy, fun.  Julie is the one who started the "Cello fund" to help me buy my own cello (which I did a couple Christmases ago).  The thing is, I have lots of great families like this that I get to work with every week, but the Valencias are special because they were first, I guess.  But my gratitude about being able to work with functional families who are happy and have smart, well-behaved, well-adjusted kids is boundless. They are out there and it gives me hope that there are still people raising kids right, even in Los Angeles.  I'm very lucky.

Busy June

Cannot accurately express how much I want to go back to London, so I won't even try!

June has been unexpectedly busy with the end of the school year, trying to schedule all of my students at times that will work for them and me. Several people have told me times that will work, and then changed their schedules, causing me to do a whole lot of rearranging. It's a bit frustrating at times, but it goes with the territory.  Anyway, I'm always looking for a few good students, so if you know any, send them to my website for more info.

The bites I got on the book turned out to be a scam.  All for the best.  When I started doing extended research on that agency and their supposed "sister publisher" (which I thought was fishy from the start), it didn't take long to figure out that it was a scam. I'm not that disappointed.  The whole thing seeemed too good to be true.  So I am back to submitting to agents - I try to do one a day.  It's necessary to research each agency, find the best agent suited to my work within that agency, and read their blog and anything else you can find on that person so that you cater to their tastes.  I don't get many responses though - not even rejections.  Either it takes longer to get a response than they state on their blogs and websites, or they're ignoring my submissions (or not getting them at all).  Most of them give a time frame for if you don't get a response, when to try again.  I will look into that.

The Y has changed the swim schedule around.  So now instead of going 6 days a week I can only go 4 days a week because my schedule is more daytime in the summer. A bit disappointed about that, but I think I will try to walk around the Rose Bowl the other 2x/week or possibly go to one of the studio exercise classes at the Y (not swim classes).

Went to small claims court yesterday, but the judge needs more time to make a decision about our case. He will mail it to us in a week or so.  I am glad that fiasco is nearly over - I was very nervous and I don't get nervous easily!  Aileen was supportive as always and spent the whole day with me (I love Aileen!) And several others who couldn't be there with me needed immediate play-by-plays.  My dad, who has a habit of not listening to me carefully when I tell him things, unsurprisingly misunderstood the entire case.  Precisely why I am always very vague about whatever is going on in my life.  He's not listening anyway.  Anyway, I'm hoping once that situation is resolved, I can finally work on moving over to Pasadena!

My summer orchestra is cancelled this year, but they say next year they are doing a musical. Hmmm......

Need to find an outlet for doing some acting.  I think I'll start picking up Backstage West and see if there's some theatre auditions I can go for.  Of course it would help to have a headshot that's less than 10 years old!  I'll see what I can do about that cheaply.

You can still view the first 2 chapters of "Strings Attached" at Worthy of Publishing.

Was working on writing the second book in the series, but in the last 10 days, I've been too stressed out about the court thing and in the last few days, preparing for it, so I haven't been writing.  Now I will get back to that.  Here is a teaser from book 2:

“I think it’s time I met your family,” Jack Franklin said to the love of his life, Elizabeth Hennessey.


She scoffed. “Why?”

“You’ve met my family!” he reminded her. For two blissful weeks over the holidays, they went to Jack’s family estate near Reading in Berkshire in England. “When is the last time you talked to them?”

“I talked to Dad last month for about a minute.”

“And the others?”

She shook her head.

Jack couldn’t imagine having so little contact with his family. “You haven’t seen him in how long?”

“Last summer. And you haven’t seen your family in three months either.”

“Lizzie!” He clicked his tongue. “I can’t imagine that, you know. Not seeing your family on purpose.”

“Well…you like your family.”

“You really don’t like any of them? Why not?”

Elizabeth sighed and played with her sandwich. “I’ve already told you a lot about them. My mom isn’t nice, and my dad is a pushover; my little sister is a troublemaker, Charlie is completely withdrawn and aloof, and Will’s in Denver at school and he’s a stuck-up snob. I don’t really get along with any of them except Dad.”

“They all seem to have glaring faults, don’t they?”

She grimaced at his implication. “I don’t have anything in common with any of them.”

“None of them are musicians like us?”

“I think Charlie plays a little guitar. But no.”

“So, they’re not like you; they don’t like music. Don’t they have any redeeming qualities?”

She stared at him and stated, “You think I’m judging them.”

“Yeah, a bit. Even murderers have something you can like about them.”

“Oh, don’t even say that,” she scoffed.

“It’s true.”

“Yes, but at the very least that makes my mother less likeable than a murderer!”

“There’s got to be something about her you like.”

“No. I really can’t stand her.”

“Do you love her?”

“Of course, she’s my mother but that doesn’t mean I have to like her. We have nothing in common, she’s rude, she’s abusive, manipulative, condescending, miserable, cheating, horrible, back-stabbing, slut, whore…” she let her voice trail away and took a deep breath to regroup. This was the first time she let herself get riled up over her mother in front of Jack. She looked into his eyes, finding a flood of concern there and felt a wave of shame. She never wanted to be a person who hates, but when it came to her mother, she couldn’t help herself. Every encounter she now had with the woman drove her deeper into her animosity, so she avoided her like the plague. “She’s…” she hesitated. Talking about it brought it to the surface, where misery lived in consciousness. She preferred to keep her misery in her subconscious.

He felt guilty for pressing her. “You don’t have to talk about it, Lizzie. I can see you don’t want to.”

“No, I don’t,” she admitted, and looked away.

“I’m sorry if I’m pressuring you,” he offered, touching her cheek with his thumb.

“It’s all right. You’re just curious, and rightfully.”

“I really want to meet them. It’s part of this intense desire I have to know everything about you.” He smiled.

She returned his smile.

“Do you like your dad?”

“He’s all right.”

“Let’s invite him to my recital.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because he would find out I’m playing cello again.” She couldn’t let her parents find out, especially her mother.

“I think you should tell him. I just have this strange feeling he’d support you.”

“You’ve never even met him!”

“I know but I just have a feeling.”

She gazed at him quizzically for a moment. “Let’s have him for dinner.”

“Okay.” He lit up.

“Just Dad. And you have to cook. We don’t want to poison him. Not because it’d be bad for him, but Mom would kill me.”

Agent bites (in a good way)!

I have so much to tell!  An agency I submitted to about 2 weeks ago likes my work, and has read it and wants to represent me.  This agency also has a sister-partnership with a publishing company that publishes about 90% of what the agency submits. I am in the process of researching the publishing company as well as the agency and awaiting a contract from the agent.  The contract can be termintated after 90 days of no sell, or after a year.  Also, I have to get a professional critique of the book (which I have to pay for), and as I read up on this process, I see that this is normal. Once upon a time, agencies did this for you, but now they focus on selling your book and contract out the critiques.  A friend from college's sister is a book editor and I am talking to her about doing the critique, and I will also take a referral from the agency and compare them.

I have put the first 2 chapters of my book online at http://www.worthyofpublishing.com/book.asp?book_ID=11393. Feel free to read it and comment/rate what you read (you have to register to comment/rate). You can also send me comments personally.  I am always open to constructive criticism and am interested in many "eyes" seeing this work and offering their perspectives.

I have been processing all of this information about book 1 that I haven't spent much time on book 2 lately. Also, I'm at a bit of a standstill because I need to do some research about the part of the book I'm on before I can go on.

On a more personal note, I'm getting frustrated that all my hard work in the pool isn't making a dent in me.  As much as I like swimming and I certainly feel different, I feel like I should be making some progress. The only progress made was from all the walking in London last month and honestly, my legs/feet/knees can't take that on a regular basis. I was taking a constant stream of ibuprofen by the end of the week and could still barely walk to the gate at Heathrow when I left. 

I am coming to the conclusion that I'm going to have to just wait until 2014 when I can get health insurance and have gastric bypass or lap band.  Unfortuately, this means 4 more years of being alone and being past the point of hope of ever having a kid (I will be too old then). I guess I'm not meant for that.

Going to small claims court on June 22.  Should be interesting.

Recommended viewing:  http://www.the-pillars-of-the-earth.tv/ on Starz Channel.  This is an 8-hour miniseries of the book by Ken Follett.  It's an amazing book and promises to be an amazing series as well!  And of course, it features an impossibly hot monk!

My book online

The first 2 chapters of my book are posted at http://www.worthyofpublishing.com/search.asp?search=strings%20attached in order to hopefully generate some interest from the literary agent/publishing arena. This is probably all I will ever post online, solely for this purpose.

I wrote some descriptions/synopses to start submitting to agents. Friday, I'm going to dig into that.

I'm 102 pages into the second book. Some interesting things are unfolding and I like it, but I need to interview some legal professionals about one situation that occurs.

Anyway, enjoy the first 2 chapters, feel free to question, comment, complain or joke at your leisure about it!

Now what?

While I was in London, I vowed I didn't think I could live there. Now that I'm back, settled into my old routine, I miss it desperately! I want to go back! I hope I will go there often! And next time for a longer visit!

The first week back went very quickly. I got home Sunday night, went straight into teaching on Monday afternoon, and Mom was here until Saturday. I met her new boyfriend, Barth, who is very nice, adores Mom and is quite funny!  He is a health nut, rides the train everywhere, lives in Long Beach, and he and Mom are pretty close. It's really cute to see my mom in love after so long! They met on her last ship - he was a dance host and dance hosts are not allowed to have relationships, so they had to keep their romance a secret! Now, they are having a ball together and are very happy to be free. He is going to visit her in MN and meet the family (that will be interesting!) He has a pretty thick accent and Mom and I understand him well, but I don't think most of our family will understand him. I think the idea of a foreigner in the family will be weird for them. Here is a pic of the 2 of them: 

I've been working on the 2nd book and am about to page 80. I think this one will turn out longer than the first one, which I think will be fine. I'm procrastinating about the agent submissions. It's going to be a lot of work. Mom is reading through the first book and I might wait until I get her feedback.

London seems to have given me a bit more confidence about doing something with my life. I'm not afraid to try to get my book published now. I am trying not to fall into habits I had before I took that trip. I was getting lazy, and I'm trying to stay motivated.

This thought occurred to me: skinny people, do you have any sense of gratitude about your looks?  Do you see someone like me and think, "Thank god I don't look like her!" Are you relieved you aren't ugly or fat?  Or do you falsify reasons to hate your body for reasons of modesty, humility, or a warped sense fo self?  How long did it take you for that falsification to become true? 

I have noticed in my aerobics classes that I seem to be fitter than a lot of the people there. I have more stamina and strength than most of them do - even the younger ones, but none of that really matters because I'm still this size. I swear, if the weight ever does come off (even though I lost 14 lbs in London, I haven't dropped a dime since I returned), I will be very grateful for it!

There is this weird competitive stigma between fat women. Sometimes I get a look from another fat chick and I know she is thinking, "Well, I'm fat too, but I'm prettier than she is" or "I'm not as fat as she is". It's weird. I get that a lot and I hope I'm not doing that to other people.

The London is over blog #8

Monday, May 3, 2010
1:12pm

I got home last night around 9pm. My mom picked me up at LAX - it took a while because there were 3 full flights ahead of ours at customs.  I met her new boyfriend, Barth, but only very briefly. My first impression is that he is very funny and adores my mom, so needless to say I like him very much! He's coming here for dinner tomorrow night (he lives in Long Beach).  I went to bed around 10 and was up from 2am-4am with jet lag. Then I went back to sleep and slept until 8 this morning. Mom and I just got back from swimming at the Y. I weighed myself right before I left (I don't have a scale) for London, and just now. I lost 14 lbs. last week.

I have to say that in England, I find the men better looking and much more gentlemanly! I could get used to that! But I don't know if I could ever live there. I like having space - London is so crowded! I think I would feel a bit stifled there (I would in NYC too). But I will go back. Often, hopefully. It's all very fascinating to me, and now that I'm home, the whole trip feels a bit surreal. If I get published and start rolling in dough, I'd love to have a flat there!

Part of me feels a bit silly that I went and met Matthew Macfadyen at the stage door.  I didn't do it so I could say I met him, I wanted to see him in person and up close and not even to have any sort of interaction with him. He would never remember me, recognize me again, doesn't know me from Adam. I don't really care that he does. He has brought a lot of enjoyment to my life and I love the work that he does - it's at a level I identify with and want to strive for. I gave him the CD and the note (which he may never listen to or read) because if there's a possibility I can return that enjoyment even a little bit, I wanted to try. Professionally, I would love to work with him, but I know I'll probably never get a chance to do that because even though we are in the same lines of work, we run in different circles. I will say though that I have ideas for a screenplay for which he'd be perfect. And I could make it something we could collaborate on, but it's all a pipe-dream.

I am now going into "getting published" mode. My experiences in London gave me a lot of food for thought and I have things I could add to the book, based on my experiences, but the book is already too long and I think adding much would detract from the story that is already there. I think, however, that I can use my experiences to really enhance book 2, because the main couple will spend about 6 weeks there. In the meantime, in regards book 1, I have confirmed my locations and enhanced things a bit.  It also made the trip tax-deductible!

So, back to real life. Summer scheduling for lessons. Prospective student to call back who called me in London. Gotta get this damn broken tooth fixed and some new contact lenses (exciting, eh?)  Hang out with Mom for a bit. And get my book published!

Thanks everybody for reading this blog lately and for all of your generous comments, clicking the little boxes (cool, interesting, whatever, which I think are kinda stupid, but they did get used, didn't they?) both here and on Facebook! It felt like I had fans rooting for me on my trip! LOL

The London Blog #7

Mom complained that I don't have any pictures of me in London, so I took one right after I got out of bed yesterday morning. This is for you, Mom: 

Sunday, May 2, 2010
11:30am
I am sitting in the lobby of the Shaftesbury Hotel in Paddington, stalling before I head for Heathrow. I have checked out of my tiny hotel room (with the smallest shower in the world that I had to literally wedge myself into!) I'm doing some writing.

Yesterday morning, I took the overground train out to Richmond and Twickenham (there was a rugby match in Twickenham and the train was packed). Someone had suggested this was a nice area and I make mention of Cecilia living there at one point during Jack's life in the book. I decided on Richmond, near the Thames. It was nice to ride on an overground train and actually see things.  I took pictures of some trains at Waterloo for my nephew Rhett, who is almost 4 and loves trains. I tried to get a model of a tube train for him, but couldn't find one.

Went back to the hotel for a bit to change up for the show last night. Then, I went on the London Eye and took a lot of pictures. It was good to see the city in overview like that. My nephew Zack, who is 11, loved ferris wheels when he was little - I think he would really like to ride the Eye someday.

In the short amount of time it took to get from Waterloo to Covent Garden, it started pouring rain and continued the rest of the night. I had a scarf over my head, but I still got drenched! I finally bought an umbrella for 5 pounds. Then I went to the Vaudeville to meet up with Spyridoula (Spy) from Ottawa to have dinner before the play. She was great! I like her very much. We also found some other people from online and we all had dinner at a bar across from the stage door. It was fun to talk with other Matthew fans about him for a bit and to meet all these Britons! After being alone all week and not having anybody to hang out with, this was good for me.  Here's a pic: 

It was closing night for Private Lives at the Vaudeville. There is talk about bringing it to Toronto (where Kim Cattrall grew up) and New York next year, which would be great, but it's not set in stone yet. They closed this run because Kim has to go and promote SATC2 and Matthew is promoting Robin Hood (he's the sheriff), filming Any Human Heart and possibly The Promised Land (with Colin Firth, the other Darcy haha).

The show last night was magnificent. The chemistry between Matthew and Kim, especially at the end of the first act, was on fire! And Matthew had a freedom about his performance I hadn't really seen during the other two shows, that I know from experience can only come from it being closing night. The most performances I have ever done of a show is about 20 and they did hundreds. I have to imagine it's hard to keep things fresh after that amount of time, but that very last show will lend itself to some very creative outcomes.

After the performance, more than 50 people were gathered at the stage door in pouring (and very cold) rain for about 90 minutes. At one point, we were told that the stars were cleaning out their dressing rooms, and little by little some people gave up and left. I stood talking to Spy about lots of things - life, Matthew, etc. I like her very much! After about 90 minutes, we were all told that Matthew and Kim went out the front door of the theatre and nobody got anything. I imagine some people were quite upset, and I was disappointed for them! I wanted to try to get a picture of myself with Matthew, because I was "cut out" of the one on Thursday that Waltraud took, and as a joke, to have him now sign "Felix Carbury" on my program and tease him about channeling him at the stage door Tuesday night, but didn't get my chance. (Felix is his caddish character in "The Way We Live Now", and he's drunk pretty much through the series.) Spy and I shared a cab (she to Earl's Court, me to Paddington), and we vowed to keep up with each other on Facebook and the forum. She was off to Prague for vacation today and had only been in London to see PL and meet Matthew, which she didn't get to do. I felt bad for her, but she seemed to have a good time! She will come back through London next weekend.

I have lots of thoughts about the trip, aside from the sightseeing, so I will extemporate on those when I get home. Not looking forward to the flight (but will again try to get 1st class for my 2 seats), but I'm very much looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight!

The London Blog #6

Took sooooo many pictures today! About 70 to be exact!

This morning, I had breakfast at my hotel (good food, and included with my room, unlike the other crappy hotel!) Then, I took the Paddington train out to Windsor-Eton Central, to see Windsor Castle. It's really pretty amazing, and the town of Windsor is very pretty. She was home (the flag was flying atop the round tower). I took lots of pics here. 

Saw the changing of the guard. A whole band plays while they change, both before and after.

After Windsor Castle, I hopped back on the train, and instead of heading back into the city at Slough, I went west toward Reading, which is where Jack is from. I could see enough from the train journey that I made him from the right place!  After my exploration of Reading, I went out to Basildon Park, which was used as Netherfield Hall in Pride & Prejudice.  After I got off the train, I had to take a bus to a stop which is near the entrance, and the bus driver sent me the wrong way when I got off the bus. I ended up walking around the backside of the grounds (up hill all the way), then finding a back gate, which is actually the exit and said no entry, but I walked in anyway, because I wasn't about to walk all the way back.  Turns out that bus stop was only a few hundred yards from the entrance and I walked about 8 miles out of my way the way he sent me! But I did get a lovely walk through the woods and grounds (and more blisters on my feet, plus it was drizzling and about 55 degrees and I had short sleeves!)  And finally, stumbled upon the place.  The first thing I encountered was the Pride & Prejudice exhibition. Spent about 20 minutes in that room reading a lot of stuff I sorta knew already.  Here's Matthew's bio/pic that's on display there:

 Then I toured the house.  Here are some highlights:

A lot of it is under construction, but it was still great to see it!  I took a lot of pictures here because Jack's fictional house would have been built about the same time. This is the grand staircase, which looks much bigger in the movie! 

This is the dining room and it took me a minute to figure out that they actually shot the dance sequences in this room. Again, much tinier than it looks on screen (that's always the case, actually).

This is a really cool bedroom and it's like a little side part of the room with this funky carved ceiling. I thought it was pretty and would have been something like Jack's mother's room. Those are fur coats on the bed.

This cracked me up!  When we were kids, we made a tree chair out of plaster for one of the sets on one of the shows I was in - my brother worked tech crew and somehow, he got to take the tree chair home with him and it was in our house for years! Anyway, when I was leaving, I was walking down a path with this "tree chair" and I had to take a pic for Alden!

After I left, I went back to that bus stop and there was no schedule for that direction, so I wasn't sure when it would, but i was guessing it'd be about an hour. So I went into a convenience store and he gave me a number for a taxi. I didn't want to walk - it was another 3 miles back to the train, and my feet really hurt! Unfortunately, the taxi couldn't come for an hour. I went back in and asked if he knew another taxi company, and he didn't, so I went back outside and of course, the bus went flying by! I tried to stop him, but he wouldn't stop, even with me running down the street shouting at him!  So I called the taxi company back and said come when you can get here, and this really nice guy (and very cute!) who was pumping his petrol overheard me and offered me a ride to the train station! I was so relieved and grateful! When I offered to give him some money for gas he told me, "Don't be daft!" We talked a lot about LA (he's been there, plus San Diego & Vegas) and how he likes San Diego best. Very cute guy, too! Wish I had taken a picture of him!

So, I came back to Paddington and had a little stuffed chicken breast (and a glass of wine) for dinner at an Italian place on the way back. Now I am soaking my very sore feet!

Tomorrow, I will finally ride the London Eye!  Although, of course it's supposed to rain.  I'm going to go down to Mayfair for a bit, then out to Twickenham, where Jack's sister lives, and then ride the Eye, and then I'm meeting somebody before the play for dinner at 6 in front of the theatre.  Good times...

The London Blog #5

I have actual blisters on my feet now. I haven't hardly eaten all week either, so I hope I lose some weight this week!
Last night I couldn't sleep and at 2:30am, I called Aileen to gush about my trip (don't worry - it was 7:30pm in LA). We talked for 30 min. I couldn't stop talking!  $.99/minute. Oh well, it was worth it!
This morning I woke up at 8:30am. Went down and had breakfast in the crappy hotel and it was 10 pounds (which is about $17) for bowl of cereal, canned peaches and a glass of apple juice. Then, I switched hotels! Went to the new place to leave my luggage (got lost again after I got off the tube - I really need a compass, but I haven't found one yet!) 
Then I went to Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace & the Houses of Parliament:

After that, I sat at a cafe and had a smoothie and a muffin because my feet hurt a lot and I just wanted to people-watch (a fascinating activity in London!) And I finished some more postcards while I was there. Then I did some shopping for gifts for family and such. Found good things for my nephews and my friend Mary in MN.

Then, I saw Private Lives again!  It is always interesting to me to see a show several times to compare performances, etc. Still way more impressed by Matthew Macfadyen and Simon Paisley-Day than I am by Kim Cattrall. She's decent, but not great.  After the show, I met up with a woman who was there on Tuesday by the stage door. Since I didn't get his autograph or a decent pic on Tues, I was determined to do that today!  Waltraud, from Austria, and I agreed that Matthew tossed a few on Tuesday night before he left the theatre and he was much looser and sweeter than. Today he was still nice, but there was a noticeable difference. Anyway, Waltraud and I were joking about asking him to sign his autograph in a funny way, so when I did, I asked him to sign "Gil Hollis" - his OCD 80s character from Ashes to Ashes.  He said, "Gil Hollis?" Then he thought for a moment and said, "Oh yeah, I know who that is."  I said, "I hope so!" and he laughed a little and signed 'Gil Hollis' and below that, his name.  Then Waltraud took my picture with him (I took hers with him for her too), but she cut me out of the picture accidentally, which is just fine with me!  I still got to stand next to him for several seconds while she took it (he's so TALL)!  Here's the picture:

After this lovely moment, I went to Covent Garden, which is a really cool place! I got some more gifts for Mom & Aileen and walked around there for quite a while. Lots of shopping & people watching and there was this amazing opera singer in one of the food courts.

Tomorrow I'm going to Windsor Castle and to explore Berkshire to see where Jack comes from. Not sure how I'm going to get around out there, but I know I can take the train from the Paddington station, which is my nearest tube anyway.  Still have yet to ride the London Eye, and other than that, I've seen most of what I really wanted to see!

One more observation about the London Phil concert last night. When the soloist was playing, I kept thinking about that Private Lives was going on at the same time, and that this soloist's virtuosity was on the same par with Matthew's performance. He's like a virtuoso of acting. I love that I have a life where I can recognize different levels of art on the same parallel! That calibre of performance of any kind strikes me equally as powerfully, yet in very different ways. It's riveting, in either form!

The London Blog #4

Wednesday, April 28, 2010
11:12pm

Started off my day by going to Trafalgar Square to pick up my London Pass, which gives me free entry to 55 places.

From there, went to the Handel House Museum, about Georg Friedrich Handel, who was born in Germany, but lived in London most of his adult life. On the way there, I got lost - it's very confusing when you get off the tube and you can't tell which direction you're facing and there are lots of little alleys and half-streets, which aren't marked well; only the major streets!  Anyway, while I was looking for it, I ran into Alicia and company! Such a huge, bustling city and we meet again!  They had a map and with their help, I found it. It was boring. Plus, I sat in gum (fairly fresh gum) and my butt smelled like wintergreen. Weird.
From there, I went to the Benjamin Franklin museum.  Got lost there too, because it's on a wonky side-street that wasn't marked well!  This one was an actual tour, and it was pretty cheesey, despite my interest in Benjamin Franklin.

After that, I went across the Thames (this is a pic of the walking bridge across from Embankment to South Bank) to find the National Theatre and before that, I came across the Royal Festival Hall at South Bank, where the London Philharmonic plays. Lo and behold they had a concert tonight featuring a cellist doing Prokofiev Sinfonia Concertante, so I bought a ticket (more on this later).

Then, I found out the tour of the National Theatre wasn't until 5:15 (it was 2:00) so I bought a ticket for that and went back to my hotel to change and freshen up.  Then I went back to the National and while I was waiting for the tour, I sat down to read the Evening Standard directly across from...Richard Eyre, former director of the NT and current director of....you guessed it: Private Lives (the play I'm seeing 3x this week!)
I sat there for 10 minutes, pretending to read the paper, and trying to get up the guts to tell him how much I love this production, but I was too shy and finally, he got up and walked away. Just after he did, I confirmed with a woman who said hi to him when she passed him that it was in fact him. 
Then I took the tour. What a fantastic facility this is!  I don't think anything in LA compares - maybe Dorothy Chandler, but that's all.  They have 3 amazing stages there that seat 400, 750, and 1200. We got to tour the entire facility - scene shops, craft shops, backstage, onstage, rehearsal rooms, etc. The tour guide was very good too.

After the tour, I went to the concert.  This cellist, Danjulo Ishizaka, was phenomenal!  The Prokofiev is incredibly difficult - it's not so much a showpiece, but it's got a great deal of personality and my only complaint is that he could have done a bit more to enhance that. 2/3 of the way through, he broke his A string. They had to stop and he went off and changed it, then there was some kerfuffle about where to resume the piece. They also played Myaskovsky's Symphony #6, which is a nice piece too. Oddly, it features a choir in the last movement, and for whatever reason, they sang crowded in the corner entrances of the choir loft and it seemed like about half of them weren't even all the way into the hall. I've never seen anything like that before.

Tomorrow I am changing hotels in the morning, so I have to work that out, find the new hotel, etc. I will go there and leave my luggage because I have to check out of here by 11 and can't check in there until 2. Am seeing PL again at 2:30 tomorrow, so will officially check in after the play.  Still trying to decide what sightseeing to do.

Au demain...

The London Blog #3

April 27, 2010
11:50pm
(Written last night, posted this morning)

Just got home from the theatre and am readying myself for bed. Went to meet Alicia from Spain early, thinking I would wander around the neighborhood for a bit, but when I got off the tube, two people in a row gave me bad directions and sent me the opposite direction! Oops! I walked about 6 miles out of my way (3 miles the wrong way, 3 miles back!) and finally gave up on finding it and hailed a cab. Of course, it was right around the corner from where I was. But I got there on time and met Alicia! She had 3 friends with her from Spain, and only one of them spoke English pretty well. It was quite comical and amusing attempting to translate for each other, but they were lovely ladies and we had a good time!


“Private Lives”! Wow! It really was incredibly well-done! Kim Cattrall gave me the decent performance I would have expected from her. She didn’t wow me, she was just decent.
Simon Paisley-Day was very good.
Wasn’t crazy about Lisa Dillon, but I think I just don’t like her character. I dunno, she seemed disengaged sometimes.
Matthew WOWed me! He really was beyond incredible and stole the show, and I swear I am not saying this because I’m biased; I do know quite a bit what I’m talking about! I will admit there were a few moments where it seemed he was rushing his responses a bit too much to be listening carefully, but he really was spectacularly good! He really seems to be in his element in the theatre. He’s barefoot throughout the second act, and all I could do was stare at his gigantic feet!
The chemistry between Matthew and Kim is amazing. At one point, when they decide to run away together, they both were practically in tears, which I loved! I would have to guess though that last night wasn't their best performance - timing was off a bit and they were rushing/not listening all the time. There's always the danger after so many performances of things going stale and I think they were all suffering from a bit of that last night - especially the women, and I could tell Matthew was fighting that. Still, it was excellent and I can't wait to see it again!

After the play, we waited at the stage door for nearly an hour for Matthew. He came out with two friends and he looked very tired – to the point where his speech was a bit slurred (was he drunk? He might have been!) Oh, and even though he looked very tired, he looked really gorgeous in a pink shirt, brown blazer and tan pants. He is even hotter in person, he looks a lot younger and he really is a huge guy! Anyway, at the stage door, he was so gracious and patient with everyone: he got lots of gifts and did lots of pictures and autographs. I didn’t get an autograph or a pic with him (my camera batteries went dead after 2 pics of him and I don’t care too much for autographs), but I am going back 2x more, so I will do it later. I did give him my gift though (a CD-Hush by Yo-Yo Ma and Bobby McFerrin, which I think he will enjoy listening to with his kids), and he thanked me and this woman from Germany that I had been talking with earlier tried to tell him, "She came all the way from Los Angeles!" but he didn't hear her (I was glad he didn't). Then one woman told him “You are the only actor”, basically telling him there was nobody better than him, etc., etc. (she’s right, of course!) and he said, “Did you really think it was good tonight? Even on a bad night, huh?” So, that confirms my suspicion that it was sort of an "off" performance for him, for whatever reason. But even though he was having a bad night, he was still brilliant onstage and a complete gentleman at the stage door! I have so much respect for him! Also, all the other fans I met at the stage door (there were about 20 of them) were very nice.

Now I will go to bed for the first time in about 36 hours!